“We really want to use the books to promote tolerance and encourage kids to feel good about themselves,” Wayans told Teen Project RACE recently. “We want to help young people embrace diversity.”

So far, the dynamic duo have created six books, with a seventh due out this year, all focusing on the spunky Amy and her fourth-grade adventures. An online “Amy store” sells T-shirts, tote bags, scrapbooks, and more Amy-related items, and Wayans has her mind on eventually creating Amy movies and cartoons.

The multitalented entrepreneur, who grew up with 10 lively siblings, some of them now famous actors, started writing stories in fifth grade. “My passion is being creative in all its many forms,” she says.

Wayans hopes her books will make a difference in children’s lives. “There’s just nothing else out there where multiracial kids can see characters that look like them,” she says. DW

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Words have meaning and power. Many of us realize that our ability to use words, conversations, and dialogues offers a way to educate and connect. Yet, we can be challenged by differences, our emotions, and our “lenses and legacies,” and sometimes are not as skilled in our communication as we would like to be.

In January 2011, we were shocked, disturbed, and saddened by the shooting in Tucson, Arizona. We watched the news stations and read the blogs, tweets, and articles that discussed the incident, the loss of lives, and the connected topics of hate speech, escalation of violence, and lack of civil discourse.

Many sought to place blame on a television station or a political party. People were looking for answers and to understand how and why the shooting had happened. As time progressed, we began to hear people and bipartisan leaders around the country acknowledge the need for civility. Many spoke about the hope that this would be one of the potentially “positive” outcomes of a devastating tragedy. It highlighted the importance of respectful communication and dialogue.

In college, a talented anthropology professor told us that if we are in a disagreement with someone, we have to be able to understand her position and be able to argue her position fully, before articulating and stating our own. Many years later, I thought about her words, and was reminded of the importance of listening and understanding.

In our many roles, personal and professional, we are always engaged in some level of conversation. How we use our words and how we listen for understanding, with empathy, and with the goal of making a connection, can change the nature of how we live and work. The last time I heard Dr. Maya Angelou speak, she encouraged all of us in the audience to compliment each other. She pointed out that as women, we often do not praise each other. She told us that our compliment might be the only nice thing that someone hears that day.

It’s improtant that we seek opportunities to acknowledge and celebrate the words and voices of many people who historically have not been valued or allowed to sit at the table and be a part of political and societal conversations.

We are moving forward as a society, but I believe we still have work to do around how we value different voices and contributions. We are still learning how to have important conversations that build trust, create partnerships, and share power. Each day, we each have an opportunity to listen to people, to participate in conversations that have meaning, and to use words with sincerity. We have an opportunity to understand that the “conversation is the relationship.” And perhaps if we all understand this better, we will have more civility and understanding not only in our personal and workplace conversations, but also in our national debates.  DW

Tanya M. Odom, EdM, is a consultant, facilitator, trainer, coach, and speaker. She is a part-time senior consultant at the Future Work Institute. You can reach her at tanya [at] diversitywoman.com.

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Lisa Grotts, a business etiquette expert based in San Francisco, gives an example of just how important knowledge of dining etiquette can be in the professional context. “A few years back, my husband took out a college graduate for lunch to interview him for a sales position,” she says. “The young man ordered a big business meal no-no: linguine.” True to the warnings about how difficult long pasta can be to eat tidily, the hopeful interviewee splashed it all over himself. “My husband didn’t hire him; it was clear he didn’t have the boardroom polish that was needed to handle sales.”

“You don’t need to be rich or come from the ‘right background’ to have good table manners,” emphasizes Grotts, founder of the ALM Group, an etiquette and protocol consulting firm. “Knowledge of dining dos and don’ts is simply another job skill you need to acquire.”

Getting Started

First of all, when is it appropriate to do a business meal? According to Lydia Ramsey, a business etiquette expert based in Savannah, Georgia, business meals can be arranged “once you have established a relationship with a client or customer that you want to take a little further.” They can also be conducted with out-of-town guests you’re meeting for the first time. Usually executives, managers, or salespeople, those who are trying to cement a relationship, close a deal, or make a sale, extend the invitation.

Don’t limit your business entertaining to lunches or receptions. Breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea or coffee, and dinner all present occasions for meeting with business acquaintances outside the office. If it’s lunch, though, never say “let’s do lunch.” “It’s tacky and unprofessional,” asserts Grotts.

If you’re playing the host, ask your guests what types of food they like—or don’t like—and choose a restaurant accordingly, where you know the food and service are good and the atmosphere is conducive to conversation. Make arrangements ahead of time to pay for the bill. Wait until everyone has been served to bring up business.

If you’re the guest, order dishes in a moderate price range and wait for your host to start discussing business, even if it doesn’t happen until later in the conversation—or doesn’t happen at all. Be sure to send a handwritten note the next day to thank him or her.

Ordering the Right Thing

Aside from snaky pastas, what else should you avoid ordering at a business meal? “Anything you’re not really sure how to eat,” says Ramsey, president of Manners that Sell. “It’s not the time to try escargots, for example.” Other no-nos? Anything you must eat with your hands, like lobster or shrimp with tails. Even sandwiches can be problematic, unless they have easy-to-chew meat like turkey or tuna. Burgers? Too messy.

Sadly, anything with melted, stringy cheese needs to be stricken from the menu as well. That means the likes of French onion soup and pizza. “The cheese is messy and turns into chewing gum in your mouth,” says Ramsey. Stick to grilled meats or a salad. Besides being safe, you get the added benefit of eating healthy!

As to alcohol, follow a general rule: Don’t order it. A business meal is not the time to start getting tipsy; too much can go wrong. “If your host orders wine, and you do drink, just accept one glass to be polite, and sip it little by little so it doesn’t get refilled,” Ramsey suggests.

Navigating the Equipment

The first thing to do when you sit down is immediately put your napkin in your lap. Overwhelmed by the array of flatware before you? As the various courses come, use your utensils from the outside in, starting with the soupspoon on the far right and the salad fork on your far left. Don’t panic: Your glass is to the right above your knife; your bread and butter plate is on the left, above your fork.

Dining Abroad

“International dining protocol is country-specific, and cultural nuances are vast,” emphasizes Grotts. The businessperson traveling abroad therefore needs to bone up by reading books or working with business etiquette consultants.

A few helpful tips will get you started. First, learn the difference between American and Continental styles of eating, the latter of which is used in Europe. In the American style, you hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right to cut your food. When you’ve finished cutting, you put the knife on your plate and switch the fork to your right hand to take the food to your mouth.

To indicate you’re resting, place your knife horizontally at the top of your plate, blade facing in. Place the fork in the lower right-hand portion of your plate, tines up. When you have finished, bring the knife down to rest beside the fork in the lower right-hand corner.

When you eat Continental style, you keep the fork in your left hand and take the food to your mouth with the tines down. It’s not necessary to place the knife on the plate while taking food to your mouth. If you are resting or are finished, the fork is placed in the lower left-hand corner of the plate with the tines down. The knife is in the lower right.

Whichever style you start with, stick with it. “It’s not acceptable to switch midmeal,” says Ramsey.

Some specifics should be kept in mind, too. In China, always leave something on your plate when you’re finished; otherwise the waiter will keep filling it up. If you use chopsticks (many restaurants will offer silverware, so use that if you’re not good with chopsticks), don’t stick them in the bowl with the ends pointing up. “It’s a sign of death,” warns Ramsey. Instead, set them in the rests on the table.

In Japan, be prepared for smaller portions, and know that it’s rude to ask for second helpings. Gear up for a breakfast of rice, seaweed, pickled vegetables, and dried fish.

In Great Britain, you’ll quickly learn that English is not always English. If you ask for a “napkin,” you’ll get a shocked stare.  You’ve just requested a sanitary pad. Request a “serviette”  (serv-ee-YET) instead. “High tea” or “supper” means the evening meal Americans call “dinner.” If you want the snacky repast of pastries and sandwiches, that’s “afternoon tea,” which is served between 3 and 6 p.m.

Managing the napkin, bread and butter, soup bowl, and passing of food are all arts of their own. The study of business meal etiquette can be extensive, but will be well worth the effort. “Learning the rules is about power and confidence, because it enables you to know how to do the right thing at all times,” concludes Gotts.

As for closing that deal? For that, you’re on your own. DW

Marguerite Rigoglioso is a freelance writer based in Northern California.

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1. Corporate Chess: Being Strategic for Career Success

Like many people out there, I have a blog in which I write about things like my hobbies, favorite movies, political views, friends, and family—basically, my life. But a lot of my life takes place at work. So what is considered acceptable to write about regarding office life—and what postings could get me canned?

Signed,
Cautious Blogger

Dear Blogger,
Your company shouldn’t have any problem with you raving about your rose garden or favorite reality TV show. But posting pictures of yourself at work, dishing secrets about your co-workers, or bad-mouthing your bosses could get you into hot water. Employers don’t like it when workers dish dirt about their jobs, and companies like Southwest Airlines and Starbucks have reportedly fired employees for complaining about their company on their personal blogs.

So what are grounds for termination? “If you’re disclosing confidential information or competitive secrets, or it’s cutting into your work hours, the company is within its rights to fire you,” says Susan Heathfield, a human resources consultant who blogs about the topic for About.com

To make sure your blog doesn’t get you called into the boss’s office, know where your company stands on the matter. Ask if there is an established policy. Are certain topics off limits? Is it okay to mention your employer? And of course, don’t blog during work hours and don’t use your work computer.

Use good judgment when it comes to mentioning your workplace: unlike a casual conversation with a trusted friend, once you launch an opinion into cyberspace, anyone can access it. Lastly, you need to assume your employer is checking out your blog. Use discretion: you may want to remove those embarrassing photos of your most recent night on the town. DW

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Women 2.0’s other goal is to increase the stock of female role models, Charania says. “As a woman, how can you relate to Bill Gates? There are so many women who have great ideas but aren’t making them realities. To do that, they need capital and inspiration from peers.”

After arriving in Silicon Valley, Charania worked at several start-ups, focusing on product development and marketing. She boosted her profile through networking events but was alarmed at the lack of women. Along with three other twenty-something women, she hosted a conference in 2006 where female founders of tech companies gave business advice; the event attracted 100 women. When Charania and friends were presented with an award for their efforts to increase female leadership, that event drew 600. Women 2.0 was born. The four women officially share the CEO role, with Charania responsible for seeking corporate sponsorships, soliciting venture capitalists and angel investors, and managing operations.

Women 2.0’s monthly, women-only mixers help attendees make professional connections. The quarterly panel discussions address practical topics such as raising money and scaling up start-ups. Women 2.0 branches are being launched in New York, San Diego, and Vancouver.

When not working on Women 2.0, Charania holds down a day job as marketing head for Jajah, a global telecom start-up in Mountain View, California, and moonlights as a consultant for consumer-focused tech companies. She has no plans to slow down. “If you have an idea and a passion but don’t pursue it, that’s a waste of your life. I want other women to find their passion and live it up.”

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“Now we get calls from people who 
already know,” says Skriloff, whose public relations and marketing firm, Multicultural Marketing Resources, represents leading experts in marketing to Hispanics, Asian Americans, African Americans, and other groups. “I’ve gone from educating people about why they should invest in diversity marketing to telling companies how best to take advantage of this market.”

Diversity marketing is the practice of communicating to diverse communities with a targeted message that takes into account a market’s cultural differences and behaviors. It 
encompasses major ethnicities, such as African Americans, Hispanics, and Asians, as well as groups such as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals, senior citizens, and people with 
disabilities. Often also referred to as ethnic marketing or multicultural marketing, diversity marketing, at its best, forges a deeper connection between a business and its consumers that results in business growth and brand loyalty.

In order to achieve this, experts say, a business must do more than put a 
person of color or an individual representing a specific group on its packaging. The best diversity marketing practices demonstrate an authentic and meaningful understanding of a particular 
market, as well as a sensitivity to the 
audience you are trying to attract.

Room for growth
Why are so many businesses, both large and small, looking to diversity marketing as a source of revenue growth? Mainly because it makes good business sense, says Esther Franklin, executive vice president and director of cultural identities for Starcom Mediavest Group (SMG) Multicultural, which recently released a proprietary research study on African American consumer behavior designed to reshape the way marketers view and value the ethnic market. “There’s been a lot of press from the U.S. Census Bureau that indicates the minority market will become the majority much faster than was originally projected,” says Franklin.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, minorities—now roughly one-third of the U.S. population—are expected to become the majority in 2042, with the nation projected to be 55 percent minority in 2050. “These facts are a wake-up call to businesses,” Franklin says. “Are we ready? Can we connect to audiences moving forward?”

The savviest businesses won’t hesitate to explore the market and figure out what it could mean to their bottom line, says Rebecca Illingworth Radilla of Radilla Advertising in Chicago, which specializes in the Hispanic, African American, and other rapidly expanding markets. “You want to capture this 
audience in its first generation,” she says. “That’s where you can start brand building right off the bat. Many 
companies are starting to realize this.”

For those companies that do take the plunge, the potential payoff is substantial. According to the Selig Center for Economic Growth in Atlanta, total 
annual buying power in the United States was projected to exceed $10 trillion for the first time in 2007 and will exceed $13 trillion in 2012. Multicultural markets, which wielded more than a fifth of the total U.S. buying power in 2007, will make up the lion’s share of that growth. To capture a piece of the market, experts say, you’ve got to be willing to put yourself out there. “A company may find a huge gap in its business model if it doesn’t do this,” says Andrea Slodowicz, 
media director at 
42Degrees at Mediavest in Chicago. “You’ve got to improvise in order to stay relevant. Companies that are static won’t succeed.”

Mastering the market
Because diversity marketing is so vast in its scope, some businesses may feel intimidated at first about exploring the market for fear of making a misstep. “Definitely an educational process has to happen,” says Slodowicz. “It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.” One way to do this, she says, is to partner with the right people who understand the target market and who can help you fill in the knowledge gap, “because the market can be fragmented and complicated.” Here are other important steps to consider as you develop your marketing strategy.

Get to know the consumer

“This customer wants to be reached on a more personalized level,” says Radilla. 
Using consumer insights is the best way, experts say, of knowing whether your product or service makes sense for your target market. “Businesses have to roll up their sleeves and get out there, contact the centers of influence in their target communities, and find out if a market for your business truly exists in these communities,” advises Vilma 
Salaverria, vice president of multicultural marketing for Aflac in Columbus, Georgia. Relationship-building, she says, is key. “You may land a new customer immediately, but there may be some 
distrust in the beginning,” she explains. “A customer has to see that you care about the community.”

One way you can demonstrate your commitment, Salaverria says, is to focus on community relationships. “Sponsor a soccer team or health fair for women,” she says. “Join the local Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.” Grassroots tactics like these particularly make sense in an economy like this, says Radilla. “Never underestimate the value of community efforts such as working with schools or community groups,” she emphasizes. “That kind of PR and philanthropic 
effort can go far.”

Don’t play into stereotypes. “You don’t want to market to the myth,” says Franklin of SMG Multicultural. “You want to understand and see what the culture already knows about itself. At Starcom, we come from an inside-out approach, looking at motivations and behaviors first.” That’s where sensitivity comes into play, says Skriloff of Multicultural Marketing Resources. “One of the mistakes I’ve seen is an advertiser not looking at what is important to a particular group, such as how a family is portrayed on a commercial,” she says. “You don’t want to offend.” Hiring a team that specializes in marketing to 
diverse communities can help ensure that your outreach is effective and on point. “You have to know the market and not get overwhelmed by it,” Franklin says. “This will, in turn, drive innovation, connection, and engagement with the audience.”

Make sure your structure can support the outreach. This may mean adding certain accommodations, such as bilingual assistance on toll free customer service lines or bilingual signage in stores, Skriloff says. You’ve also got to make sure that the product you are pitching is appropriate for that market. “If you’re working with packaged goods, for example, you might want to make sure the product has instructions that are in Spanish as well as English,” says Slodowicz of 42Degrees. “Or maybe it’s a matter of taste—the flavor has to be appealing to the market. There’s a lot of trial and error involved.”

Look to businesses that are getting it right as role models
Companies such as Proctor and Gamble, Walt Disney, Coca-Cola, Dell, and General Motors have all been cited as businesses that have successful diversity marketing strategies. Proctor and Gamble, says Slodowicz, is known for investing in education in diverse communities. “You don’t have to make a big investment to see a big impact,” she says. And don’t expect to see results overnight. “It may take some time,” says Radilla. “But the return on investment is greater in the long run because brand loyalty tends to be greater.”

Making the investment
With many marketing budgets already spread thin by the current economic climate, some businesses may choose to use their general marketing strategy as a way of also reaching diverse markets. They do this at their peril, says Radilla. “General branding is not as cost-efficient now,” she says. “The amount of coverage you can get with a smaller budget, directed to a specific market, is substantial. You can get a bigger bang for your buck, and you can own that market.” She advises redirecting some of those general marketing dollars into local radio or newspapers, and, when you do, to make sure that whatever content you are using is appropriately done.

By taking your time to create a targeted message that speaks to a particular community, you demonstrate your commitment, and the community responds in kind. “If we promote our brands in a culturally relevant way, and give great customer service, we will make the customer happy,” Salaverria says. “A customer who is happy will stay.” DW

Vanessa K. Bush is a freelance writer and blogger who contributes to a number of publications. She and her family reside in New Jersey.

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Collecting lots of business cards—or, in today’s world of LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook, accumulating “connections,” “followers,” or “friends”—does not automatically result in a cadre of individuals who will be a resource and offer support for professional endeavors. Rather, the foundation for a cadre or career network comes from solid professional relationships that are built on trust and are mutually beneficial. The old adage still holds true that quality, not quantity, matters. Having a thousand contacts can be meaningless when information, access, or assistance is required. As you move forward in your career, you want to place emphasis on building relationships, not gathering names. When you call upon these people, the likely result will be committed actions that can  achieve a desired outcome.

To build a cadre for resource and support, turn to the attributes that are essential to friendships, the four Cs—care, contribution, courteousness, and commitment.

Care

People typically help those with whom they have an affinity, reference, or context. Therefore, you want to show a genuine interest in other people and what they do. Get to know how they became involved in a given activity or profession. Ask about their challenges and what keeps them up in the middle of the night. Inquire about their goals and aspirations. When they answer your questions, be sure to listen.

Contribution

Career networking requires planning and strategy: you need to know what you want from others and to what end. Having a preliminary focus on your desired outcomes and intentions can serve as a guide to direct relationship building. Are there individuals with certain skills, talents, and experiences you would like to have in your cadre?

Mutually beneficial relationship building is a two-way street. Not only is it important to know what you want from the relationship, but it is key to assess what you have to offer. What skills, talents, experiences, or other resources can you provide? How can you support others in nonfinancial ways, such as sharing existing relationships that could be beneficial? What contributions can you make in time or money? What are you committed to helping others with? By answering these questions, you will know your value and what you bring to the table.

Courteousness

Listening to others as well as talking to them is a cornerstone of building relationships. In your interactions, remember to follow basic manners and the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” This is particularly important when returning telephone calls or answering e-mails. Replying within 24 hours or on the next business day or, at a maximum, within 72 hours demonstrates interest and commitment.

Recognize, however, that not everyone follows such practices. If you are trying to reach someone who fails to get back to you in what you determine is a reasonable time frame, don’t overreact. There is a fine line between being persistent and being a pest. Others may have obligations and responsibilities that prohibit a response in your expected time frame. Treat them in the manner you would desire if you were in a similar situation. If your reason for contacting someone is truly urgent, say so in your initial communication.

People have different levels of sensitivity. Some may treat what you consider an innocuous statement as a slight and even carry a grudge. Make a conscious effort to be mindful of what you say, and if you think you may have said something hurtful, resolve it as soon as possible. A quick mea culpa can make the difference in continuing to nurture and develop mutually beneficial and trusting relationships.

If someone has helped you, acknowledge the contribution. In this age of hurried communication, the old-fashioned, handwritten thank-you card can be greatly appreciated. Also, try to help others who have given you an assist. You can extend an invitation to an event that may be beneficial to their endeavors and follow up on their requests by forwarding information that may be useful to their pursuits. These gestures can make a difference in building a cadre.

Commitment

Developing a cadre is an ongoing process that evolves as professional objectives change. By investing in yourself, you can meet others and keep expanding your circle. You can attend workshops or classes that enhance your skills; volunteer with professional or industry organizations, nonprofits, or religious or community groups; or join alumni chapters or boards of organizations. These activities provide opportunities to meet others who may share your interests, passions, or desire to build a cadre. As in forming and nurturing friendships, developing a career network does not occur overnight. Each interaction requires intentionality and commitment, as well as time and effort.  DW

Ritta McLaughlin is a municipal finance specialist in Washington, DC and New York.

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“Our surveys and ROI studies demonstrate how, through mentoring, employees’ level of engagement and retention continues to rise,” says Jodi Davidson, in speaking about the Spirit of Mentoring IMPACT Program at Sodexo, a top provider of food and facilities management services with 10 million customers.

One of Allstate Insurance Company’s formal mentoring programs is Menttium, a cross-company program that brings together the most promising women from Fortune-ranked companies. Menttium matches talented mentees with executive mentors and provides them with a year of unique professional and personal development.

When mentoring goes well, it can be invaluable for mentors and mentees, as well as the organization at large.

Key goals for mentoring are to support and guide personal growth. The mentored person is in charge of his or her learning. Both parties participate as volunteers. The process is heavy on listening, being a role model, making suggestions, and providing connections.

With many successful mentoring relationships under her belt, Linda Honour, senior managing director of investment technology at Allstate Investments, LLC, reminds us, “When mentoring is legislated, getting the right fit is important. When the fit is not there, it can be tough.”

Daphne Mobley, whose career journey took her from the laboratory as a doctor of veterinary medicine to the C-suite as a chief diversity officer, points out that the most beneficial mentoring experiences are grounded in trust, rapport, and a general affinity between mentor and mentee. Mobley, now a motivational speaker, says, “Think less of the title and more about the relationship. If one mentor doesn’t work out, move on. There is always one that will.”

It isn’t just about people who are like you, either, adds Honour. “There are two sides to the equation.” There is huge value in helping others. There is also a big payback for mentors presented with the privilege of seeing life from another perspective. In mentoring a young woman from a different industry, Honour added to her knowledge bank.

While everyone seems to agree that mentoring is important, not everyone agrees on what it is. It’s best to keep it simple. Mentoring is about teaching and learning.

That is not to say the roles are mutually exclusive. Sometimes labels can be formulaic and narrow our opportunities. In fact, everyone is a teacher and a learner.

Simply put, whether formal or informal, mentoring is about relationships. Focus on people who hold positions you aspire to and have personal qualities you admire, or people who hold a view of the world you would like to see into more clearly.

Need a mentor? Ask a question. (Maybe even say something flattering.)

Learning can happen anywhere, and it can happen continuously. “Always keep your eyes open. Who is doing things that you admire? Ask questions. Pick their brain,” advises Honour. Randall Lane is senior director of global inclusion and diversity for Cisco Systems. Among his mentees is a woman who approached him by saying, “I want to do what you do. How did you get to where you are? Can you show me?”

Mentoring doesn’t necessarily require that the two parties be in the same location. Lane’s relationship with his protégé in San Jose, California, is a long-distance one, as Lane is based in Seattle. They typically meet for 45 to 60 minutes each week, and their meetings are often powered by TelePresence, Cisco’s “in-person” meeting platform that uses advanced visual, audio, and collaboration technology over a converged network.

Over the past year, Lane has seen this young woman blossom and gain self-confidence. Assessing the benefit of their relationship, he says, “She is beginning to look at new opportunities and bigger responsibilities that she previously didn’t believe she had the capacity to take on. My reward is knowing I had something small to do with it.”

Receive some good advice? Follow it.

Lucy Chan, director of growth markets and business development for IBM’s integrated account team at J. P. Morgan Chase, calls mentoring a remake of a life survival skill. Alone in the United States at the age of 16, from Hong Kong, she had to rely on the guidance of the adults she met. She turned strangers into mentors.

Early in her career, Chan attended Up Close and Personal Day at IBM. There she listened intently as the speaker advised the largely female audience to pamper themselves and celebrate their successes.

As odd as that sounded to a woman from an impoverished childhood, Chan took the advice and gave herself permission to recognize her self-worth. She put into practice the idea of treating herself in some way to mark each milestone she hit. “Generosity begins with self,” she says. “You cannot be generous with others if you don’t believe you are yourself deserving.”

Lily Tang is an executive coach and consultant who has advised Fortune 500 companies around the world.

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Hawkins is the founder and chief executive officer of Evolutions Consulting, LLC, a business consulting boutique specializing in improving efficiencies, maximizing effectiveness, aligning strategies, promoting brand visibility and strengthening consumer engagement.

Having trouble adjusting to a new job or a difficult boss? Ready to make your side hustle your full time job? Get solutions now to your burning business issues in our new column, AskShaunice@DiversityWoman.com.

Submit your questions to Shaunice at AskShaunice@diversitywoman.com.

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Knowing which products will work best for different markets hasn’t been the biggest challenge for this New York City–area native, who graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in engineering, then earned an MBA in Georgia while working for Dupont. Instead, the 49-year-old Stern has gotten a crash course in the Chinese philosophy of Confucianism, and a hands-on lesson in the art of tailoring—not of pants, but of messages. Diversity Woman asked how she adapted to a corporate culture that often dismisses some of the qualities that American executives prize most.

Diversity Woman: What were your 
preconceived notions about joining a 
Korean company?
Ria Stern: I was recruited by an American ex-boss who went to work for Hyosung. I knew the Koreans had a strong work ethic, which was fine by me, but I outlined some of the issues I was concerned about. I even amended my contract so that I could work four days instead of five if I wanted to. It wasn’t until I got here that I realized the complexities of working with Koreans.

DW: What were those complexities?
RS: I didn’t think language would be such a huge issue, but it can be. It’s not that my colleagues in Korea don’t speak English—they can read an e-mail and respond—but you often can’t have a conversation about a new product, so you do it via e-mail.

DW: How does the work culture differ?
RS: Korean culture and life are heavily influenced by Confucianism, which has influenced the work environment in two big ways. The society is very patriarchal, so there are not a lot of women on the Korean side of the company. In many cases, other than the translator, I might be the only woman on a conference call. The society is also extremely hierarchical—Confucianism has such respect for 
authority, which drives that overall need for harmony. It’s disrespectful, rude, to challenge your boss. If the boss asks you to do something by tomorrow, you do it.

DW: Doesn’t that get frustrating?
RS: I think they’ve had to get used to me, and I’ve had to get used to them. I 
remember doing things like this at Dupont—how I talked to someone in the South a little differently from the way I talked to someone in New York City. You can’t be too aggressive, too straightforward. With the Koreans, they’re very much about not losing face. You don’t challenge people and make them feel like they’re wrong or didn’t understand. And some people in the U.S. can be that way, too. The only difference now is you add 60,000 miles, a language barrier, and the cultural things on top of that.

DW: Can’t you have creative differences?
RS: We don’t have those kinds of disagreements—my peers in Korea tend to defer to me. They recognize that it’s a language thing—they can’t argue with me in English. They also sometimes ask me to send them a note that they can then take to their respective group president, because they know that when I say something is not a good idea, the group president may listen to me more to them. He knows there’s value in a different perspective.

DW: To what extent have you come around to their way of doing business?
RS: When you look at the history of 
Korea, they have made tremendous strides, given that they were occupied by Japan for decades, had a low GDP, and no natural resources. But thanks to companies such as LG, Samsung, and Hyosung, they have 
accomplished a tremendous amount.

And their competitive framework will continue to become more aggressive. I’ve had conversations with my Korean colleagues about what they think the future will look like, and the answer I get is that some companies are becoming more progressive. If you look at the evolution of certain American companies, they value 
diversity in thinking: for instance, high-tech companies that say they never know where the next great idea will come from—the intern, the mail room clerk, the VP of programming. We need to capitalize on 
that kind of diverse thinking power of 
all our employees to constantly increase 
our competitive advantage.

DW: What has been the upside for you?
RS: It’s been an amazing learning experience. As my Korean colleagues and I have worked more together, we share stories about our lives. With one man I work with, his English has improved so dramatically that we can now tell jokes. Another colleague has kids, and we laugh about 
how they’re both into princess clothes. DW

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