The Shouter - Thinks everyone is hearing challenged.

The Secret Talker – Covers the receiver and looks as though she’s delivering information for the CIA.

The Corporate Cliché Meister - This person uses buzzwords & clichés to impress those around her. “This would really connect the dots and help us build synergies for all of our stockholders. I just hope we don’t get any pushback.”

The Useless Call Maker - Makes useless calls…one after the other. You’ll find her at the airport making astute comments such as, “Hi, we haven’t left yet. Ok, bye.” Or “Hi, we just landed. Ok, see you.”

The Crazy Talker - The hands free-user. You see and hear her walking and talking loudly, head bobbing up and down, but there’s no one around.

The I Don’t CARE Where I Am or Who You Are… - This cell phone user makes and takes any and all calls anywhere she pleases.  Funeral? Restaurant? As it rings, she quickly (and insincerely) says, “Sorry about that.”

The Cell Phone Driver - Drive or talk. You can’t do two things well at the same time.

The Considerate Cell Phone User - This RARE person has a high regard for others and their personal space. When she makes or takes a phone call, she removes herself from the table or whatever area she’s in and takes or makes the call in a private area so as not to disturb anyone.

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Fresh out of Stanford in 2005, she founded Bottlenotes Inc., which started out as a custom wine-delivery operation tailored to individual customers’ tastes. When the economy tanked and regulations around Internet shipments of wine became more stringent, Rapp’s team of seven decided to switch business models and turn Bottlenotes into one of the leading digital media companies in the wine world.

Bottlenotes is now a favorite online destination for 20- and 30-somethings who are new to wine or are curious about it. A kind of “Facebook for wine,” as Rapp puts it, the site offers wine recommendations and lets newbies and aficionados add tasting notes and share information. A mobile phone app will soon allow users to share their wine thoughts and tasting experiences while on the go.

The company makes money by selling ads and info bites that appear on the site from a wide variety of purveyors of wine, cheese, chocolate, and more. “If their products and services tie into wine and the wine lifestyle, then it makes sense that their brand would be interested in reaching our wine enthusiasts,” says Rapp.

Meanwhile, on the ground, the company runs large-scale “Around the World in 80 Sips” wine-tasting events in major cities, each of which helps support a local nonprofit.

Rapp’s recommendations to aspiring entrepreneurs: “Build a prototype and test your idea as early as possible, and get a top-notch board of advisors. That’s been key to our success.” DW

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2. Young Entrepreneur: Danae Ringelmann

“We really want to use the books to promote tolerance and encourage kids to feel good about themselves,” Wayans told Teen Project RACE recently. “We want to help young people embrace diversity.”

So far, the dynamic duo have created six books, with a seventh due out this year, all focusing on the spunky Amy and her fourth-grade adventures. An online “Amy store” sells T-shirts, tote bags, scrapbooks, and more Amy-related items, and Wayans has her mind on eventually creating Amy movies and cartoons.

The multitalented entrepreneur, who grew up with 10 lively siblings, some of them now famous actors, started writing stories in fifth grade. “My passion is being creative in all its many forms,” she says.

Wayans hopes her books will make a difference in children’s lives. “There’s just nothing else out there where multiracial kids can see characters that look like them,” she says. DW

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Ballard and her colleagues, for the mostpart agreed with that assessment, but they also knew changes needed to be made. And Ballard and some of the other women owners had a vision for these changes. Ballard was reluctant to speak at the conference and put a dent in the goodwill. Nevertheless, the strength of her vision led her to stand up and walk up to the lectern. She began her speech with a question that still echoes in her head. “What is wrong with this meeting, right now, right here?” she asked. Silence. Then, she shared her vision.

The specifics of the vision that Ballard presented that day don’t matter. The point is, she accepted her responsibility to be visionary and exercised her right to present her vision. Women are visionary, but they fail to recognize it in themselves and speak their mind.

In general, men have no problems positioning themselves as visionaries. Purveyors of history generously announce men as accomplished visionaries. Men in leadership roles, therefore, have role models and the expectation that they will present their vision. Women, on the other hand, have a short list of accomplished public figures to model themselves after, and the cultural expectation works against women announcing their vision and expecting others to applaud and follow.

The visionary women interviewed for this article all had to overcome their hesitancy and learn how to recognize a vision and then how to put forth that vision to the public. They learned that a vision does not have to come from the public domain or from a position of power; it can be inspired by intimacy. Additionally, these women learned how to open themselves to being swept away, even overwhelmed, by their vision. Finally, they recognized that sharing a vision is one of the prerequisites for successful leadership.

Vision Begets Vision

For some women, the genesis of their leadership vision is personal. Sixteen-year-old Pat Harris, the youngest of 11 children, left McBee, South Carolina, and moved to New York City. Nine-year-old Enola Aird left Panama and her parents to live with her aunt in the United States. Nora Moreno-Cargie saw her mother bravely open the first minority-owned currency exchange in Chicago. These three women tell compelling stories of older, caring females who showed courage in the face of poverty and cultural dislocation. They learned strength and persistence from multigenerational relationships. These relationships are the genesis of vision.

Enola Aird is founder and president of the Community Healing Network. She credits her aunt, who emigrated from Panama to seek a better life for her family, as the bold pathfinder in her life. Aird, an erudite Yale Law graduate, found her own vision and life’s work after a heated exchange with her young daughter about the length and texture of a doll’s hair. Aird lovingly held her daughter’s face to the mirror and told her, “Look in this mirror and make sure you never love anything more than you love what you see in this mirror.” From this literal vision for her daughter and exchanges with like-minded people in her community, Aird envisioned the Community Healing Network as “a nonprofit organization creating a network of self-help groups focused on mobilizing black people to overcome the myth of black inferiority and other emotional legacies of racism.” Following in the footsteps of a woman who envisioned a better life for her family 60 years ago, Aird bravely upholds a bold vision for a better life for her greater family.

A similar tale unfolds for Pat Harris, global chief diversity officer for McDonald’s Corporation, as well as for Nora Moreno-Cargie, director of global corporate citizenship for Chicago at the Boeing Company. Each woman credits her mother for the strength to follow a vision and the courage to keep the vision alive. Both credit their fathers with having a positive influence while emphasizing the boldness and leadership exemplified by their mothers. Without a visionary influence at a young age, three visionary women—Aird, Moreno-Cargie, and Harris—believe they would not be who they are today.

“My vision grabbed me at age 16 and would not let me go,” exclaims Pat Harris. “I did not know it then, but my vision chose me and continues to hold me.” Like the others, rather than ignore the terrifying gut-tsunami kicked up by a bold vision, Harris let herself be swept away into the swell of a better future. They let their inner visionary speak and learned how to speak for it. Interestingly, all admitted that others would readily call them a visionary, but none recognized it in herself at that “aha!” moment. Only in retrospect did these women honor their visionary moments as such.

Announcing the Vision

Whatever the genesis of the vision, personal or professional, one can only be considered a visionary when one presents that vision. Lily Tang, a consultant with Future Work Institute, gave herself permission to be a visionary when she tired of hearing her inner voice repeat, “If only I had said something.” In a majority male environment, she teams up with capable men. Tang explains, “White males don’t see Asian women as powerful leaders; subconsciously, they see us as the helper and the support.”

Her strategy for overcoming that subconscious bias is to wait for the right moment. “So, walking into a program, I am fine with a male kicking it off, but I ask him to bring my voice in early and not let me sit on the sidelines for any significant period of time.”

A visionary who is unable to articulate her vision to anyone else will likely never have an impact. It takes a skilled leader to express and integrate vision into a task-oriented culture. Thus, the best visionary also leads well. Vision becomes public through effective leaders—and most effective leaders at strategic times present their visions.

Women-owned businesses tend not to be as financially successful as those owned by men. A recent Wall Street Journal article, “Why Are Women-Owned Firms Smaller Than Men-Owned Ones?,” chronicles the male-owned business edge. In 2008, the average revenues of majority women-owned businesses were 27 percent of the average of majority men-owned businesses. The author, Sharon Hadary, asserts that women’s self-limiting perceptions share part of the blame for the lack of success. Her remedies include encouraging women to think bigger, increasing measurements for business success, and finding ways to learn from women leaders.

Perhaps one method for women to learn from other women leaders—and think bigger—would be to encourage and develop more women visionaries. Studies from the Center for Women’s Business Research show that women relate to other women in business more easily than they relate to men. If women visionaries are to translate their vision into action, they need seasoned female leaders to teach them how to lead.

Visionary women are essential to society. Through the hope and courage they spread, others find the voice to affirm their commitment to a grand idea and to each other. Moreno-Cargie from Boeing beautifully expresses the need for visionaries by quoting a proverb: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Women of vision, please come to the podium. DW

Gia Interlandi is the president of the Leadership Conservatory, an educational and consulting firm. For more information, visit www.leadershipconservatory.com.

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But when she became a communications manager at McDonald’s, suddenly the first 30 minutes of any family visit was all about Mickey D’s. “They would ask me stuff like, ‘Why does Filet o’ Fish have a half slice of cheese?’ Or, they’d request Happy Meal toys, or—the best—‘Why don’t you put your cousin in a commercial?’”

While Moore has no control over commercials or cheese, she does have, in some sense, bigger fish to fry. Now, as one of two directors of external relations and brand outreach, she plays a role in managing McDonald’s diversity program, contribution programs, and relationships with nonprofits. Unlike some companies where diversity is still in its early stages, McDonald’s has gotten plenty of recognition for its diversity over the years. The company has been listed among the Top Places for Minorities to Work in Fortune magazine and a Top 10 Diversity Champion at Working Mother magazine. Today, 37 percent of all McDonald’s franchises are owned by women or minorities.

What’s left to do? Diversity Woman talked to Moore about living with the Golden Arches and making the most of its global reach.

Diversity Woman: Coming from finance, what prepared you for your work in outreach?

Meredith Moore: Growing up in Minneapolis, I was able to travel a lot because of my father’s work, and my mom was a philanthropist. So I grew up with a greater appreciation of the idea that you have so that you can give—not just so you can keep.

DW: How much can McDonaldís, as a huge for-profit company, embrace that philosophy?

MM: McDonald’s has become a part of our heritage in America, and when you think about the reach of McDonald’s—not just 1.6 million employees, but also suppliers and customers—we have a role to sustain them. So we’re supporting the people who have always supported us. At the end of the day, we have to do the best thing for the brand and the country while maintaining a for-profit corporation, so we don’t get into anything religious or political.

DW: How do you do that?

MM: We try to keep things family oriented. In the past year, we’ve supported the Illinois Holocaust Museum and a friendship park. It’s a way for kids to learn about the Holocaust, talk about bullying and advocacy, and think about right and wrong.

DW: How did growing up in Minneapolis shape your views on diversity?

MM: It was a predominantly white city. At the time, a newspaper said we were the whitest city with a black mayor, Sharon Sales Belton. I’m grateful for that experience, though, because it fostered my communication skills. I had to explain things that others take for granted—like why I couldn’t go swimming in the winter, because my hair wouldn’t dry before recess when it was so cold.

And the African-American community in Minneapolis was so tight. It was a big family—we looked out for each other, and I know that I have a whole team back home that is rooting for me to succeed but will still love me if I fall short. We also had a large immigrant community—Hmongs, Mexicans, and Somalians—so I grew up tutoring ESL at local community homes. It taught me that the success of the city was intricately tied to the success of our communities, and it really cemented my respect for other cultures.

DW: McDonaldís would seem to have a solid handle on creating workplace diversity. Whatís left to improve?

MM:  We have an aging population here in the U.S. offices and potentially have a lot of people leaving at one time. So, there’s a fear about a transfer of knowledge—how do you make sure those people are on a pipeline to the 20- or 30-year-olds? You have Boomers to share info, but you also have to have Millennials to listen to it.

DW: How do you combat that problem?

MM: In recruiting, we try to illustrate to the public all that can be accomplished at McDonald’s. I’m just one example: in five years, I’ve been promoted from a supervisor to a manager to a director, had the support to finish my master’s at Northwestern, and have consistently felt challenged with no two days being alike. But we also have a great story of people coming up through the restaurant. Our very own Jan Fields [president of McDonald’s USA] started in a restaurant as a single mom just looking for flexible hours, and now she leads more than 14,000 restaurants in the United States.

DW: How do you get the generations talking to each other?

MM: The best way is through mentoring—both formal and informal. We have an online mentoring program that allows you to find mentors or mentees based on different selection criteria. But I’ve also had success meeting someone in the hallway who asked me where I got my hair done. She and I struck up a casual conversation and she’s been an amazing guiding light for me. She’s been an executive assistant for more than 30 years and she’s helped me navigate through a lot of potential pitfalls that I would not have seen otherwise. The most important thing is to have an interest and to have the patience to share your perspective.

DW: At 29 yourself, are you sometimes the youngest person in the room?

MM: Yes, I’m always the youngest person in the room. I am the third child, and my mom was 41 when she had me, so I’ve always been the youngest in the room. It’s never really bothered me. I feel if you’re capable, age doesn’t matter.

DW: Part of your job involves travel. Is being away from home so much hard, or is it still an adventure?

MM: I travel about 70 percent of the time, but I’m not married, and I don’t have kids. When I travel, I try to take extra time—getting there a day early, or staying a day late, so it’s not like I went all the way to Japan and just saw the Hilton. I like to go walk around, assuming it’s safe to do so, and experience the place as an individual. That seems to help with jet lag, too.

DW: How are the diversity goals different overseas?

MM: A lot of what we’re doing is about women—making sure women get education and mentoring so they can excel into leadership positions, especially in Asia and Europe. In May of last year, we did a women’s summit in Beijing, and I stayed three weeks. It was interesting to get to know the other women.

DW: What did you learn?

MM: In China, the easiest way to get the women to talk was to go to a spa—that goes across borders. Everybody needs to get their nails done. It reminds you that we’re all the same.

DW: What two books are on your bedside table?

MM: I love fiction, and Barcelona is my favorite city, so my friend hooked me on Carlos Ruiz Zafón. I read The Shadow of the Wind and now I’m working on The Angel’s Game. They are great books to get lost in.

The other book is one I am rereading for the fifth time: Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell. It was required reading for my first job, and I highly recommend it for young professionals entering the workforce. It’s one of the best lessons I’ve learned—how to learn from a failure, instead of being defeated by it. DW

Katrina Brown Hunt is a DW contributing writer.

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Words have meaning and power. Many of us realize that our ability to use words, conversations, and dialogues offers a way to educate and connect. Yet, we can be challenged by differences, our emotions, and our “lenses and legacies,” and sometimes are not as skilled in our communication as we would like to be.

In January 2011, we were shocked, disturbed, and saddened by the shooting in Tucson, Arizona. We watched the news stations and read the blogs, tweets, and articles that discussed the incident, the loss of lives, and the connected topics of hate speech, escalation of violence, and lack of civil discourse.

Many sought to place blame on a television station or a political party. People were looking for answers and to understand how and why the shooting had happened. As time progressed, we began to hear people and bipartisan leaders around the country acknowledge the need for civility. Many spoke about the hope that this would be one of the potentially “positive” outcomes of a devastating tragedy. It highlighted the importance of respectful communication and dialogue.

In college, a talented anthropology professor told us that if we are in a disagreement with someone, we have to be able to understand her position and be able to argue her position fully, before articulating and stating our own. Many years later, I thought about her words, and was reminded of the importance of listening and understanding.

In our many roles, personal and professional, we are always engaged in some level of conversation. How we use our words and how we listen for understanding, with empathy, and with the goal of making a connection, can change the nature of how we live and work. The last time I heard Dr. Maya Angelou speak, she encouraged all of us in the audience to compliment each other. She pointed out that as women, we often do not praise each other. She told us that our compliment might be the only nice thing that someone hears that day.

It’s improtant that we seek opportunities to acknowledge and celebrate the words and voices of many people who historically have not been valued or allowed to sit at the table and be a part of political and societal conversations.

We are moving forward as a society, but I believe we still have work to do around how we value different voices and contributions. We are still learning how to have important conversations that build trust, create partnerships, and share power. Each day, we each have an opportunity to listen to people, to participate in conversations that have meaning, and to use words with sincerity. We have an opportunity to understand that the “conversation is the relationship.” And perhaps if we all understand this better, we will have more civility and understanding not only in our personal and workplace conversations, but also in our national debates.  DW

Tanya M. Odom, EdM, is a consultant, facilitator, trainer, coach, and speaker. She is a part-time senior consultant at the Future Work Institute. You can reach her at tanya [at] diversitywoman.com.

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Sitting at her kitchen table, a mug of warm coffee in her hands, her emerald green dress contrasting with the soft sandy-rose paint on the walls, one of the country’s most venerated writers tells a story. It’s how she teaches.

“My grandmother [her father’s mother, Annie Henderson, who raised her in Stamps, Arkansas, in the 1930s] would call to me—‘Sister!’—and I knew from the tone of her voice what was going to happen. There’d be a man or woman coming down the hill to the store. I knew I couldn’t say anything, but I’d sit and listen when she let him in.

“‘Hello, Brother Hudson,’ she’d say. ‘How are you doing today?’

“‘Oh Sister Henderson, I can’t stand this cold weather. It chaffe me and it git me.’

“And my grandmother would look at me as if to say, ‘Did you get that?’

“As soon as the person would leave, my grandmother would say, ‘Sister, there are people all over this world, black and white, rich and poor, who went to sleep when he went to sleep last night, but they never awakened. Their beds have become their cooling boards, their blankets have become their winding sheets. And they’d give anything for just five minutes of what that person is complaining about.’”

Angelou smiles and nods, then sips from her cup of coffee, and adds, “So you can know me as long as you can know anyone, and you’ll never hear me complain. I’ll protest, but I don’t complain. And I encourage women—and men—don’t whine! Whining does nothing to the object of your displeasure. And the worst part is that it lets a brute know there’s a victim in the neighborhood.”

Angelou is too busy to complain, and has been for a long time. Over the last six decades, she has been a writer and a poet, a singer and a dancer, a teacher and a leader (among other things). In the 1960s, she worked with Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In 1971, she became the first black woman to have a screenplay (Georgia, Georgia) produced as a film. In 1981, she accepted the position of Reynolds Professor of American Studies at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, a role she still fills to this day. In 1993, she recited a poem at the inauguration of Bill Clinton, and in 1998, she was inducted into the Women’s Hall of Fame. Over her lifetime, she has written more than 30 books and been awarded more than 30 honorary degrees. She’s been nominated for the National Book Award, the Tony, and the Pulitzer; she’s won three Grammys and been awarded the National Medal of the Arts in 2000 and the Lincoln Medal in 2008. Last November, she was announced as one of the winners of the 2010 Presidential Medal of Freedom.

That’s quite a list of accomplishments, especially considering Angelou’s humble beginnings. Raised in the South during flagrantly racist times, she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend. After identifying her rapist, who was beaten to death after his one-day stay in prison, young Maya came to the conclusion that her voice had the power to kill, so she embarked on a self-imposed five-year period of silence during which she spoke not a single word, communicating only through a pencil and notebook that her grandmother attached to her outfit each day. As a teen in San Francisco, she dropped out of school. She eventually finished high school, giving birth to her son, Guy, only a few weeks after graduation. Until her career as a singer, dancer, and actress took off, she worked as a waitress and a cook, a single mother supporting herself and her son.

That’s quite a life, by anyone’s standards.

Was there protesting? Oh, yes.

But victim? No. That one will never make the list. She’s too busy doing other things to complain or be a victim.

More Work To Do

Desite her long list of achievments, Maya Angelou is still as busy as ever. Her first book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings—in part the story of that horrific experience with her mother’s boyfriend—was and remains required reading on many high school and college curriculums. In 1993, Angelou published a collection of essays, Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now. Now, more than 40 years after the publication of Caged Bird, her journey continues with the publication of her 31st book, Great Food, All Day Long: Cook Splendidly, Eat Smart.

Released by Random House in December 2010, Great Food, All Day Long was born out of her recent struggles with weight and health issues. Through those struggles, she learned the value of portion control, and her cookbook emphasizes food so flavorful that small portions are satisfying. In this cookbook, good health is as much a priority as good flavor.

The Maya Angelou Research Center on Minority Health

In addition to teaching as the Reynolds Professor of American Studies at Wake Forest—a position she originally accepted for only one year but enjoyed so much she simply never left—Angelou also serves on the steering committee for the Maya Angelou Center for Health Equity (MACHE) at the Wake Forest University School of Medicine.

Simply put, because doctors know less about the prevention, expression, or treatment of diseases in certain groups—African-Americans, Latinos, Pacific Islanders, Native Americans, and Alaskan Natives—members of those groups are less likely than white Americans to live long and healthy lives.

As William Applegate, M.D., president and dean of the center, says, “What more compelling voice to give credence to this cause than Maya Angelou’s? Both her riveting personal story and her remarkable achievements are testimony that we can overcome great obstacles.”

Opening in 2002, the Maya Angelou Center for Health Equity was designed to help find a solution to the inequality of quality care in medicine. One of the most compelling demographic trends in the United States today is the increasing diversity of the population: by 2050, it is projected that the country will be split almost evenly between non-Hispanic whites and all other minority groups. Although the term minority is on the verge of becoming factually incorrect when applied to certain groups, racial and ethnic health disparities still exist and are widespread in some areas.

One of the primary missions of MACHE is to involve more underrepresented groups not only as study participants, but as researchers and practitioners, in both health education and career enhancement. Thus, the center will also seek to foster the creation of programs in minority health education, as well as increasing recruitment efforts to get under-represented minorities into medical schools.

“By serving the minority community, it must be known that the entire community is served,” says Angelou. “One hand washes the other. A healthy minority community bodes for a healthy majority community.”

The See Forever Foundation and Maya Angelou Schools

Angelou’s current projects are not restricted to Wake Forest. She is also deeply committed to the success of the See Forever Foundation and Maya Angelou Schools in Washington, DC.

Founded in 1997 by David Domenici and James Forman Jr., the See Forever Foundation’s mission is “to create learning communities in lower-income urban areas where all students can reach their potential and prepare for college, careers, and a lifetime of success.” The foundation approaches its mission by establishing schools that focus on helping disadvantaged youth in the Washington, DC, area, including youth in the juvenile justice system.

The year the first school opened, the foundation sponsored an essay contest to name the school, and student Sherti Hendrix composed the winning essay, proposing that the school be named in honor of Angelou.

In her essay, Hendrix wrote, “The students of See Forever need a school name that represents the power and the importance of education. I think our charter school should be named after Dr. Maya Angelou. I know that nobody is perfect in this world. But at See Forever, I have learned one thing: You can do whatever you want to do as long as you put your mind to it and work hard to get there! And Dr. Angelou knows this too. She is a bold black sister, and believes in us.”

So in 1998, the Maya Angelou Public Charter School (MAPCS) was incorporated, and Sherti Hendrix was one of the 20 students who made up the inaugural graduating class in 1999. In 2000, after raising $3 million for building renovations, the school moved into the historic Odd Fellows Building, and students from all over the city began applying. In 2004, to meet the needs of a burgeoning student population, the See Forever Foundation opened a second MAPCS campus in Washington, DC, and in 2007 assumed operation of the Maya Angelou Academy in Laurel, Maryland (formerly the Oak Hill Academy), as well as operating its affiliated Transition Center. Both the academy and the center are part of the New Beginnings Youth Development Center, a secure facility for committed youth. The academy is the facility’s school, and the Transition Center helps youth move on to the next stage of their life once they’ve been released.

Today the Maya Angelou schools boast a total of two high schools, one middle school, the academy, and the Transition Center, educating an overall student population of 600 to 700 students each year. Given that as many as 50 percent of these students have been expelled from at least one other school during their academic career, and up to 70 percent of students come in to MAPCS functioning three full grade levels behind their age group, it is quite a testament to the schools’ success that 73 percent enroll in college, and 60 percent of those who graduate from high school earn a post-secondary credential.

Lucretia Murphy, J.D., Ph.D., executive director of the See Forever Foundation and MAPCS since 2008, and a MAPCS board member since 2004, attributes much of that success to the inspiration Angelou’s life story represents to the students. She cites the students’ lack of belief in themselves as one of the most prevalent issues they have to contend with.

Says Murphy, “These kids come in saying, ‘I’m poor and black and pregnant and struggling in school. How does anyone think I’m going to succeed out there?’ But Angelou’s personal story—where she came from and what she’s had to overcome—makes it easier for them to believe in themselves. She shows them that their dreams are still attainable.”

Two-thirds of the funding for the schools comes from public charter school funds, with the balance raised from private sources such as corporations, foundations, and individuals. This is another area where Angelou’s presence is indispensable. On May 6, 2011, the foundation will host its 14th annual fundraiser at Washington, DC’s Lincoln Theater, and with Angelou as the keynote speaker, the 1,200-seat theater is expected to be filled to capacity. But Murphy stresses that Angelou’s presence, while instrumental to bringing in big names and big money, is about the students first and foremost.

“Three or four years ago,” says Murphy, “back when we were still holding our fundraiser in one of the school’s auditoriums and it was standing room only, Angelou said to the adults in the crowd, ‘I know some of you paid a lot of money to be here, but I’d like to ask you to back up and let the kids come closer. I’m here to talk to the kids.’ And she’s so authentic with them. She doesn’t come to the school to be emulated or adored; she comes here each year to have one more opportunity to connect with her children, to touch them physically as well as mentally and emotionally.”

Angelou says, “The power of belief in our children—expressed—empowers them, and unconditional love to our children creates courage.”

Mentoring

Asked about the importance of mentors, Angelou talks again about her grandmother, Annie. “At least twice a year, she had this litany of stories to tell me and my brother. It’s how she taught. And one of the things she taught me is that when you get, give; when you learn, teach.

“There’s a statement in the Judeo-Christian bible, by the apostle Paul. The Corinthians had written to Paul and asked, ‘Is it better to speak in tongues or to prophesy?’ Paul’s response was, ‘If you speak in tongues, only God understands you. But if you prophesy, you might benefit the entire community.’ So I try, all the time, to prophesy. That means I can say, ‘I’ve been down that road. If you go there in the dark, on the left-hand side there’s a hole you can fall in and break your foot.’ That’s prophesy. And that’s really mentoring. So tell only the truth. You don’t have to tell everything you know, but you do have to tell the truth as you understand it. And then children can reach between your teeth and find charts, maps to live by. It’s very important to respect and cherish your mentors, and to realize that you are one yourself.”

As much of a priority as children are to her, threads of the conversation frequently come back to her grandmother, who was clearly a major—and lasting—influence. In short, a mentor. When asked about the upcoming award ceremony where she is scheduled to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, she gets a slightly dreamy, faraway look in her eyes. Gazing up at the kitchen’s far wall, she gestures to the portraits hanging there: her mother, her grandmother, and her great-grandmother, who was a slave. “It will be all I can do to accept that award,” she says softly. “Look at where I’ve come from. Everyone should be aware of where they’ve come from and be grateful. That’s what will allow you to move forward.” DW

Sheila Robinson is the founder and publisher of Diversity Woman. Edmund R. Schubert is an author and editor. His latest book, How To Write Magical Words: A Writer’s Companion (Bella Rosa Books, 2011), is a collection of essays about the craft and business of writing fiction, gathered from a group of authors working in a variety of genres.

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Lisa Grotts, a business etiquette expert based in San Francisco, gives an example of just how important knowledge of dining etiquette can be in the professional context. “A few years back, my husband took out a college graduate for lunch to interview him for a sales position,” she says. “The young man ordered a big business meal no-no: linguine.” True to the warnings about how difficult long pasta can be to eat tidily, the hopeful interviewee splashed it all over himself. “My husband didn’t hire him; it was clear he didn’t have the boardroom polish that was needed to handle sales.”

“You don’t need to be rich or come from the ‘right background’ to have good table manners,” emphasizes Grotts, founder of the ALM Group, an etiquette and protocol consulting firm. “Knowledge of dining dos and don’ts is simply another job skill you need to acquire.”

Getting Started

First of all, when is it appropriate to do a business meal? According to Lydia Ramsey, a business etiquette expert based in Savannah, Georgia, business meals can be arranged “once you have established a relationship with a client or customer that you want to take a little further.” They can also be conducted with out-of-town guests you’re meeting for the first time. Usually executives, managers, or salespeople, those who are trying to cement a relationship, close a deal, or make a sale, extend the invitation.

Don’t limit your business entertaining to lunches or receptions. Breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea or coffee, and dinner all present occasions for meeting with business acquaintances outside the office. If it’s lunch, though, never say “let’s do lunch.” “It’s tacky and unprofessional,” asserts Grotts.

If you’re playing the host, ask your guests what types of food they like—or don’t like—and choose a restaurant accordingly, where you know the food and service are good and the atmosphere is conducive to conversation. Make arrangements ahead of time to pay for the bill. Wait until everyone has been served to bring up business.

If you’re the guest, order dishes in a moderate price range and wait for your host to start discussing business, even if it doesn’t happen until later in the conversation—or doesn’t happen at all. Be sure to send a handwritten note the next day to thank him or her.

Ordering the Right Thing

Aside from snaky pastas, what else should you avoid ordering at a business meal? “Anything you’re not really sure how to eat,” says Ramsey, president of Manners that Sell. “It’s not the time to try escargots, for example.” Other no-nos? Anything you must eat with your hands, like lobster or shrimp with tails. Even sandwiches can be problematic, unless they have easy-to-chew meat like turkey or tuna. Burgers? Too messy.

Sadly, anything with melted, stringy cheese needs to be stricken from the menu as well. That means the likes of French onion soup and pizza. “The cheese is messy and turns into chewing gum in your mouth,” says Ramsey. Stick to grilled meats or a salad. Besides being safe, you get the added benefit of eating healthy!

As to alcohol, follow a general rule: Don’t order it. A business meal is not the time to start getting tipsy; too much can go wrong. “If your host orders wine, and you do drink, just accept one glass to be polite, and sip it little by little so it doesn’t get refilled,” Ramsey suggests.

Navigating the Equipment

The first thing to do when you sit down is immediately put your napkin in your lap. Overwhelmed by the array of flatware before you? As the various courses come, use your utensils from the outside in, starting with the soupspoon on the far right and the salad fork on your far left. Don’t panic: Your glass is to the right above your knife; your bread and butter plate is on the left, above your fork.

Dining Abroad

“International dining protocol is country-specific, and cultural nuances are vast,” emphasizes Grotts. The businessperson traveling abroad therefore needs to bone up by reading books or working with business etiquette consultants.

A few helpful tips will get you started. First, learn the difference between American and Continental styles of eating, the latter of which is used in Europe. In the American style, you hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right to cut your food. When you’ve finished cutting, you put the knife on your plate and switch the fork to your right hand to take the food to your mouth.

To indicate you’re resting, place your knife horizontally at the top of your plate, blade facing in. Place the fork in the lower right-hand portion of your plate, tines up. When you have finished, bring the knife down to rest beside the fork in the lower right-hand corner.

When you eat Continental style, you keep the fork in your left hand and take the food to your mouth with the tines down. It’s not necessary to place the knife on the plate while taking food to your mouth. If you are resting or are finished, the fork is placed in the lower left-hand corner of the plate with the tines down. The knife is in the lower right.

Whichever style you start with, stick with it. “It’s not acceptable to switch midmeal,” says Ramsey.

Some specifics should be kept in mind, too. In China, always leave something on your plate when you’re finished; otherwise the waiter will keep filling it up. If you use chopsticks (many restaurants will offer silverware, so use that if you’re not good with chopsticks), don’t stick them in the bowl with the ends pointing up. “It’s a sign of death,” warns Ramsey. Instead, set them in the rests on the table.

In Japan, be prepared for smaller portions, and know that it’s rude to ask for second helpings. Gear up for a breakfast of rice, seaweed, pickled vegetables, and dried fish.

In Great Britain, you’ll quickly learn that English is not always English. If you ask for a “napkin,” you’ll get a shocked stare.  You’ve just requested a sanitary pad. Request a “serviette”  (serv-ee-YET) instead. “High tea” or “supper” means the evening meal Americans call “dinner.” If you want the snacky repast of pastries and sandwiches, that’s “afternoon tea,” which is served between 3 and 6 p.m.

Managing the napkin, bread and butter, soup bowl, and passing of food are all arts of their own. The study of business meal etiquette can be extensive, but will be well worth the effort. “Learning the rules is about power and confidence, because it enables you to know how to do the right thing at all times,” concludes Gotts.

As for closing that deal? For that, you’re on your own. DW

Marguerite Rigoglioso is a freelance writer based in Northern California.

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Telecommuting involves working anywhere from a half day to full-time off-site or on your own turf. Although the idea of driving less, computing in your jammies, or having the freedom to go shopping in the middle of the day may sound great, telecommuting needs to be done with care, says Gil Gordon, president of Gil Gordon Associates and an expert consultant to employers who set up mobile work programs.

Here are Gordon’s tips for making telecommuting work for you.

Choose the location that fits the task. Save the number crunching or head-down computer jobs for home, where you have a larger chunk of distraction-free time. Store up the communicating needs for the office, where you can more easily track people down in person. Don’t underestimate the power of face time, either, even if it’s informal.

Assess your work style. The best predictor of how you work effectively is to look at where you did your studying in college. In the study hall with noise all around—or in the silent library cubicle? That will tell you whether a more—or less—quiet home time is best for you.

Honestly evaluate your home environment. Young children running around? Sharing a small space with others? Constantly lured by the Wii? Chances are that you won’t be very productive working at home.

Focus on the work product, not the process. Don’t worry about clocking in 9 to 5 when you’re at home. If you can do a day’s worth of work from 5 to 7 a.m., don’t feel obligated to keep plugging. What’s important is that you get the deliverables to your boss or client on time.

Don’t telecommute for the wrong reasons. If you want to work at home because you know you can be more productive, pursue it. If you’re angling to be away from the office because you can’t stand your boss, find another job. DW

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Rule 1: Pay yourself first.

Many investment professionals start their preretirement pep talk with the same three words: “Pay yourself first.” This includes contributing the maximum amount possible to your 401(k) plan and investing additional amounts in IRAs and mutual funds through automatic payroll deductions.

Automatic investment plans are an easy way to stick with a retirement investing program because the money is invested before it can get spent on anything else. While automatic investing does not guarantee a profit or protect against a loss in declining markets, it does make retirement investing a priority. With any automatic investing program, you should, of course, consider your financial ability to continue to invest through periods of low prices.

Rule 2: Don’t let today’s bills sink Tomorrow’s needs.

Supporting yourself and your family isn’t easy. Chances are, especially if you have children, your household expenses will grow over time. That’s why it’s important, particularly through times of difficulty and new expenses, to keep contributing toward your retirement.

When you consider reducing or ceasing investing for your future in order to cover current expenses, stop, think, and try to find another way to cover your expenses.

Rule 3: Put time on your side.

When you give your money more time to accumulate, the earnings on your investments—and the annual compounding of those earnings—can make a big difference in your final return. Consider a hypothetical investor who saved $2,000 per year for 10 years, then didn’t add to her nest egg for the next 10 years. She has $48,341 after 20 years, assuming she earned 6 percent annually in a tax-deferred account. Another hypothetical investor waited 10 years, then tried to make up for lost time by investing $3,000 annually for the next 10 years. Even though he invested more—$30,000 versus the early bird’s $20,000—he still ends up with a smaller nest egg. Assuming he also earns 6 percent per year, his final account value is only $45,313. Most of the procrastinator’s nest egg—66 percent—is the principal he invested. The majority of the early bird’s account—59 percent—is earnings.

Rule 4: Don’t count on Social Security.

Although politicians consistently tell us that Social Security isn’t going anywhere, it’s still very likely, especially if you are under age 50, that the program will be very different from its current form when you retire.

According to the Social Security Administration, Social Security benefits represent 38 percent of income for Americans over age 65. The remaining income comes predominantly from pensions and investments. The administration also states that by 2030 there will be twice as many elderly Americans as today, growing to 70 million from 35 million. The dollars and cents result of this growth is hard to determine, but it is clear that investing for retirement is a prudent course of action.

Rule 5: Resist borrowing from your 401(k).

Loans are a popular feature of 401(k) plans. People like being able to get access to their money. But many investment professionals recommend that clients consider borrowing from other sources, such as the equity in one’s home, before taking a 401(k) loan. Here are some reasons why.

Fixed return. When you pay yourself interest when you pay back a 401(k) loan, your interest rate is the amount you earn on that money. This may be a modest return compared to what your money could earn if you left it invested in the financial markets.

Payback challenge. Repaying a 401(k) loan when trying to maintain contributions may be difficult. There is a real chance that your retirement plans may suffer when you try to repay and continue to invest simultaneously.

Tax penalties. Switching jobs before a 401(k) loan is repaid can bring unwanted tax consequences. You may be able to pay off or transfer your loan to your new employer’s plan, but if neither option is available, your loan balance will be considered a distribution from your plan. As a result, you may owe ordinary income taxes and a premature distribution penalty tax of 10 percent unless you meet one of the age or systematic payout method exemptions provided in the Internal Revenue Code.

Double taxation. The money you use to pay interest on your loan will be taxed twice. It will be taxed first when you are repaying the loan because, even though you can contribute to a 401(k) with pretax dollars, you can’t do the same with loan payments. It will be taxed a second time, as other 401(k) earnings are, when you make withdrawals from your account in retirement.

Rule 6: Don’t cash out retirement plans when switching jobs.

When you leave a job, the vested benefits in your retirement plans are an enticing source of money. It may be difficult to resist the urge to take that money as cash, particularly if retirement is many years away. But generally you will have to pay federal income taxes, state income taxes, and a 10 percent penalty if you’re under age 55. This can cut into your investments significantly. In Maryland, for example, with its 7.5 percent state income tax, someone in the 25 percent federal tax bracket would lose 42.5 percent of the amount they took.

25.0 percent (federal tax) + 7.5 percent (state tax) + 10.0 percent (penalty) = 42.5 percent

When changing jobs, generally you have three options for leaving your retirement money invested. You can keep the money in your old employer’s plan, roll it over into an IRA, or transfer it to your new employer’s plan if that plan accepts rollovers. Learn more about these three options before deciding which will work best for you.

Rule 7: Take advantage of your IRA options.

The Roth IRA has become a popular way to expand retirement investing for many investors. But with many IRA options available today, it’s important to know why you are investing before you determine where to start. Once you decide on a direction, it’s important to make your annual contribution. Annual contribution limits recently have increased, making IRAs a more valuable method  to invest for retirement. Your investment professional can help you determine which IRA will work best for you.

Rule 8: Compare the merits of the Roth IRA and a 401(k) plan.

The variety of retirement savings options available today is a boon for investors, but the range of choices can also be confusing. Many investors are trying to compare the potential advantages of the Roth IRA with their 401(k) or other type of defined contribution plan at work. The choice is especially difficult for those with limited budgets who can afford to invest in only one option. Work with your investment professional to determine whether the Roth IRA or your 401(k) offers more advantages for you. The answer will depend on many factors, including how many years you have left until retirement, your tax bracket, and whether your employer matches contributions to your 401(k).

Rule 9: Don’t try to time the stock market.

Some investors, even those for whom retirement is still years away, frequently shift their money in and out of the stock market. They’ll get out when they fear a crash and get back in when they expect a boom.

The problem with trying to time the market is that no one can consistently predict the short-term events that push the market up or down. It’s better to have an investing plan adjusted for your goals, time frame, and risk tolerance that diversifies your investments, allocates them among different asset classes, and rebalances your portfolio.

Rule 10: Allocate, diversify, and rebalance.

You have certain long-term financial goals in mind. You also have a certain tolerance for risk when it comes to investing your money. Asset allocation can help you find and maintain your balancing point, so you can pursue your goals at a risk level you find comfortable. As part of a disciplined diversification investment strategy, asset allocation enables you to seamlessly follow this proven three-step process.

Allocate your assets across the major asset classes—stocks, bonds, and cash—to help you pursue the optimal returns for the risk level you’re willing to undertake.

Diversify within each class to take advantage of different investment styles—such as growth and value stocks—and various market sectors—such as government and corporate bonds.

Rebalance your portfolio regularly. Market activity can shift the percentages of your portfolio that you have dedicated to each asset class. Rebalancing will help you maintain your desired allocation. DW

Information for this story was provided by MFS Investment Management. Gail Perry-Mason is a financial coach and co-author of Girl, Make Your Money Grow! For more information, visit www.gailperrymason.net.

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